It’s like an invasion in a way. You are the General and you are preparing your troops to invade a foreign land to achieve an objective. The difference is the foreign land is not necessarily hostile, it’s a kindergarten room. And the teacher, administration and even other students there on that first day not only don’t want you to fail, they want to be your team to help your little one do great. The other difference is your invasion force is not a seasoned team of soldiers, it is that sweet little five year old boy or girl with a slightly terrified look in his or her eye.

But like any good General, you do have to be prepared for the unthinkable. You may make a lot of good speeches about how” failure is not an option”. But any parent who does not think about what can go wrong and how you will prepare for it and respond is setting themselves up for a catastrophe in the event something doesn’t go perfectly. But if you are ready for the worst, then your child can still have a great first day at school and get around the problem that otherwise might have ended badly.

The first thing that springs to mind when it comes to accidents or something that might go wrong is with the wardrobe. In all the excitement and nervousness, if your child spills either on the way to school or during school and soils her garment to where it is not suitable for using the rest of the day, you might get that phone call to come and get your child.

You don’t want to have to take your child out of the classroom until it is absolutely necessary. You put so much time and effort into building up this big day that to your little boy or girl, if they have to leave the school during the day, it will seem like a tragedy even if it’s only for the day. The solution for the wardrobe problem is one you may have already thought of which is to send a change of clothes. By keeping emergency clothing at the school in your child’s locker at all time, it is always there for her to change into and not see a major disruption to her school day.

Another crisis that can come up at the last minute is the sudden emotional meltdown of your child. If she becomes hysterical with worry or overwhelmed by the newness of it all, it can be a serious issue if you in the drop off line and you need her to go on in to school. This is not at all unlikely even if you feel your child is not the kind of kid who melts down that easy. The build up to the day and all the new cloths and the excitement can suddenly change course and create an emotional train wreck as your child looks out of the car door at the school door she must go through to start her new life.

But by having a plan, you can even deal with this. Often such melt downs are temporary. You can pull out of the drop off line and park the car and comfort the child. Above all don’t make her feel badly. Then if she knows its ok, she might recover and go on in. Worst case – you walk her in. That is not a catastrophe at all.

Your child must learn to cope with crisis. It is as much part of learning as books and assignments. And if she takes her cues from you that there is no crisis that cannot be adjusted to and no issue that cannot be solved, that will be a source of comfort and strength on that first day of school and for every day thereafter.

Of course you know that the teacher wants only the best for your child. With time, the teacher will have time to spend with each child and that natural bond will occur. But if the first impression your baby boy or girl gets is that the teacher is their enemy and someone to fear, that bond may be slow in coming. And if the new student gets the feeling that school is a scary place where they are in danger, it could be the beginning of a lot of trouble with school down the road.

So teaching your child that the teacher is not an enemy is very important to her success on the first day of school and your child’s success in school for years to come as well. The first step in helping your child understand that the teacher is a friend is just to talk about it. Sitting with your child and visualizing together how that first day at school will be and seeing the teacher as a protector, a guide and a friend will send the child off to school with a good opinion of the teacher even before the class is called to order for the first time.

It might be helpful to work with your child to understand the relationship between authority and benevolence. You should work to help your child see that even though the teacher is setting the rules and enforcing discipline in the class, she is still the best friend and protector of the children as well. The best example your little one has of this model is, of course, mom and dad. A child has utmost trust and love for her parents. And yet she knows that it is also mom and dad who set and enforce the rules and even punish when the kids have been bad. By seeing that the role of rules maker and enforcer can be part of being a caregiver, the child can transfer the affection they have for mom and dad to the teacher and understand that role in class.

You can even take the next step in helping your child accept the role of teacher in her life by looking for a chance to go to the school and even sit in on a class just to watch what happens at school. Many schools are happy to let kindergartners that will be starting next year sit in for a day, especially if they are with mom or dad to help them feel secure. You will see some wide eyes as your child absorbs all that goes on in kindergarten. Then you can use that experience to answer a lot of questions when you get home. All of that is outstanding preparation for what the child will experience eon their first day in school.

By meeting the teacher, watching what happens in school and getting familiar with the “idea” of kindergarten, you are getting out ahead of the problem of fear and intimidation that is often big problem for children in their first day at school. The teacher your child will have in the fall will be thrilled to meet her and begin making friends with your child right away. And that short time together may be all it takes to change that teacher from an enemy to a trusted friend and a face your child will look for as soon as she goes to kindergarten that first week. And when your child sails through that first week at school, it will because you took the time to get her ready to have a great time in her first experience at school.

When a child graduates from a phase in their lives like from high school, college or even from elementary school, it is not uncommon to celebrate with a big party and gifts. The purpose of the celebration is to commemorate the successful conclusion of a formal phase of life and start of the next phase. We want the child to come out of their completed experienced encouraged and excited so they charge into the next challenge with gusto.

It might be time to consider the start of kindergarten in that same category. In a way, starting school is the end of infancy. Your child is going off to do something all by herself. She will take on challenges and conquer them. She will have days when it seems it is impossible and then she will conquer those fears and achieve the impossible. So you want to send your little one off to kindergarten with that that its time to leave infancy behind and go into this big new world of school with gusto, enthusiasm and ambition.

Making the start of kindergarten a big event puts the feeling of joy and excitement around that first day in that new school. It is a “rite of passage” that puts momentum around your child’s growth from being a baby at home to becoming a student. In our eyes kindergarten is hardly a big challenge. But in your little one’s eyes, it is just as big a step as any other transition you have experienced. And that celebration gives her the momentum to overcome those initial fears and go into the kindergarten classroom with excitement and positive anticipation.

A party is always a good way to start out this new phase in life. Perhaps going to your child’s favorite restaurant would be a nice touch because she can invite some of her friends to be there with her whole family to cheer and celebrate this big day with her. While many children’s restaurants are used to singing to a child having a birthday, with some notification and letting the restaurant know what you want, you can have the staff come out and sing a happy song with a cake and ice cream to make this event memorable and fun for your soon to be star student of the family.

You want this celebration to be special and not like every other birthday. Presents might include extra fun school clothes, a new notebook, a fun backpack or a jumbo crayola set in a special carrier that she can use to take it back and forth to school. But by making this celebration full of laughter, song and joy, you are sending a message to your little one that everybody appreciates what a big deal starting kindergarten is and the whole family and all of her friends are behind her 100% of the way. And your support in launching that child into school so well will pay off when she comes home successful, happy and excited about what she is doing in kindergarten every day.

It’s encouraging that, obviously, schools are designed to be safe places for your kids. The rooms are prepared to have young children in them and the way the children’s days are organized, there really is no time when they are not under the watchful eye of a caregiver. Schools are also more and more doing aggressive background checks on the people who work at the school to make sure there is no chance someone untrustworthy would have access to your child.

The trip to and from school is one that is often a big concern. The ideal would be if you could drive your child door to door. If your child must walk to school, take some time before the kindergarten year begins to meet parents of other kindergarten age children in your neighborhood. If your kiddo can tag along with a parent supervised group that is walking to school, that parent’s presence is often enough to make sure your child is safe.

But there is no question that safety begins with the child herself and the best way to prepare your child to be safe is to teach her to think about every aspect of safety throughout her day at school. The simple rules that were part of life at home must become hard and fast law at school. Your child should know never to pick up anything and put it in her mouth and to only eat things that she either brought with her to school or that she buys from the school cafeteria or are given to the class by the teacher.

You have to be diplomatic in teaching your child that accepting something to eat from another child is not ok. From your perspective, you have no idea whether what that other child is offering is safe, well prepared or might contain illegal substances. Yes, this is a bit paranoid but being safe is far better than being sorry later. So the rule of “no trading” when it comes to lunch items must be reinforced well so it is high on your child’s set of guidelines for her day.

Now you don’t want to scare your child or give her the idea that every adult is an abductor and every other child a drug dealer. It is ok for your little one to trust the adults at school and the other kids too but at the same time observe basic safety precautions even with trusted kids and adults so she is never even in a situation that could become dangerous.

Making it a rule to never be alone with another person anywhere is one way to make sure your child is always being looked after. This assures that she is never alone with an adult, including the teacher so if by chance someone improper got through the system, there is no access for that person to talk to or touch your child. But by stipulating that your little one makes sure she is never alone even with another child, the kids have fewer chances to think of activities that are not allowed and outside the range of acceptable and safe activities.

It is also a hard and fast rule that your child must never go home with another child or accept a ride from anyone without notifying mom first. Even if the child is your little one’s good friend, the two children must not be allowed to “be creative” about their route home or what will happen after school. By making sure your kindergartner knows the rules of safety well and observes them religiously, you are doing all you can to make sure that when you send that precious child off to school, you are continuing to protect her even when you cannot be around her all the time.

But the transition from being a child in the home to the classroom is most extreme for a very young child facing that first day at kindergarten. It helps to think about that transition by trying to look at the challenge through the eyes of your little girl or boy as much as you can. In most cases, being at home with mom, dad, siblings and the family pet may be all that he or she knows. Not only does it seem that the world revolves around family, the family home is a place of comfort and other than brief outings, the world is not a place that the child feels comfortable with yet.

So if you take your child to school for that first day and leave her there, the environment she is now in could not be more strange to her than if you put your child in the middle of the rain forest to fend for herself. Small wonder so many children undergo extreme anxiety that first day of kindergarten when their parents leave them to the first major adjustment of life and they are doing it from a cold stop with absolutely no preparation whatsoever.

There is a lot you can do to make that first day they are stetting in the classroom less strange to your child. By taking your child through some preparation times in advance of the first day, you can do a lot to make the idea of going to kindergarten normal to your child and to make that first day seem more routine and even fun when she finds her desk and begins to listen to a teacher for the first time ever.

Videos can help your child visualize school and be of tremendous help. Look for children’s videos that are appropriate to your little one’s age that are educational and above all fun and comforting to her as these videos picture the on screen children in a school like setting. Many of the most popular children oriented TV shows like Sesame Street and Barney will have videos to help with this transition. Watch them together with your child and then afterward talk about the day that will come when she will go off to school. In that way, you are helping her process that such a thing is a reality and that she should mentally prepare for that day.

You can also use playtime at home to help your child pretend to be in school. You can arrange the play furniture you have in a classroom setting and put her stuffed animals in the other chairs. Then you can be the teacher and simulate how being in school might go. As you call on her stuffed bear to answer questions or on her toy ducky to sit up straight, you child will laugh but also be preparing mentally for when that is a real situation with lots of other real children all around her.

Visits to the classroom that your child will attend and meeting the teacher are also good steps toward making that transition. When you see your child actually initiating going to school during play with her toys or with other children, you will know that she is well on her way toward a smooth transition into academic life, even if that academic life is at this time only kindergarten.

We see this kind of play happen nature when we witness bear cubs or even kittens in our own homes as they seem to be all about play every day. But there is a reason for their play. Often the games they “play act” are their way of trying out hunting, stalking, fighting and even running away. In the same way our own children use their creative imaginations to “play act” scenes in life that they will one day encounter for real In that way, nature seems to have put it into babies of every species to use play to get ready for life.

As parents, one of our great joys is to join our children in play. We get to sort of “become children” ourselves all over again for a while which is great fun. And if we think its fun for us, just watch as grandma or grandpa get down on the floor and suddenly become five year olds for a while. The only shame is one day our young ones will grow up and then we can’t play with their toys any more.

This impulse to act out scenes of life that they will eventually grow into is a wonderful resource you can use to begin to prepare your child for kindergarten. Very often, even though they may not know they are doing it, children use this skill to cope with fears about life and changes that may be on the way. So you can use kindergarten skits and games to help your child feel less frightened of that big change and even come to see the coming of kindergarten days as a time of fun and excitement so when it gets here, she welcomes it with glee rather than with dread.

You can set up a mini kindergarten room in your living room using play chairs from your child’s toy table and using stuffed animals to be the other students. The lessons can be silly things at first like the plot of the Wizard of Oz or the names of all of her My Little Pony dolls so your child gets to jump up and yell, “I know teacher, pick, me!” and begin to experience the thrill of being recognized publicly for being smart, even if the public are stuffed bears and Shrek characters.

Once your little one sees how fun it is playing school, you can begin to do more to make the game more realistic by implementing a schedule with a time to lay down her head, a time to draw, and a daily schedule including “single file to the lunch room” and back. These will be fun games that will get a giggle from your child but also introduce these concepts in a fun way so when they happen for real when she starts kindergarten, they wont be frightening but have an association of playtime with mom.

By taking the time to play out what will be happening in kindergarten, you can prepare your child for all of the aspects of school she can expect. Its an outstanding exercise and you can take her through it without ever letting her know that this is a big part of the “work” of getting ready for school, even though to her its just a game.

So the influence you have on your child’s attitude about her first year at school will be driven to a very large extent by your attitude.  If you are nervous or anxious about this big step, your child will go into the first days in kindergarten tense and serious too.  

Of course, you know the importance of shaping your child’s attitude toward school.  You want them to take school seriously.  In a strange way, in order to get your child interested in school, especially in this important first year, you have to lift the pressure and speak of them about kindergarten in their own.

And the orientation of any child in the months leading up to kindergarten can be sized up in one word – fun.  We often underplay the importance of fun and even scoff at how much value a child places on fun even in going to school.  “Fun” is a code word for a child.  It means more than just a child’s desire to play in a frivolous way.  In other contexts, “fun” means the child wants to be engaged, challenged, become part of a process, loved, feel safe and feel joy about what he or she is doing.  So when a child complains that something “isn’t fun”, it might just mean that the activity is frightening or fails to connect to them on their own terms.

Learning to listen to your child is a big step in helping them get ready for all of life’s challenges including this big step into kindergarten.  So the more you can do to make their first days in kindergarten fun will be of tremendous value in helping your child want to go to school and overcome their feelings of anxiety and stress about doing something new and a little scary.

The best way to make kindergarten fun for your child is for you to have fun getting her ready for the event.  The process of buying new clothes and school supplies can be great fun for parent and child so if you take your little one with you and let him or her make choices about those new clothes, about the kind of notebook they will take and about their lunch pail or carrier, those things will have special meaning to them and the child will be excited to put them to work.

Talk up the fun your child is going to have at kindergarten.  By emphasizing that they will get to play lots of games and make lots of new friends at school, they will take that clue from you and go into the new experience looking for new friends.

The more engaged you are in your child’s school experience, the more he or she will see this as a big adventure and go off in the spirit of joy and fun to “discover the world” because they know mom and dad will be waiting eagerly at home to hear all about their big day.

Giving your child the spirit of fun and adventure about going to school is probably the best gift you can give her and the best way you can prepare your little one to take on the challenges of school.  And if your new student goes into school looking at it as a big fun outing, each new assignment will be taken on with creativity, mental energy and personality and that will naturally give her success in everything she does at school.  And as success leads to more success, before long you will have a child that loves school and goes there with energy and enthusiasm throughout kindergarten and on into first grade and up and up in the latter of success in the academic world.

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Of course that desire to let your little boy or girl carry his or her own cell phone to kindergarten may be more related to moms insecurity about being out of touch with the child for several hours.  If you know she has a phone on her and knows how to use it, at least you know she can reach you if she needs to hear your voice and that you can reach her if you need to know your baby is doing ok especially in those first days and weeks at kindergarten.

Giving your child a cell phone to carry in his back pack or her purse may seem like a simple and harmless little step that will give the child and mom and dad some sense of connection and security during the day. After all, who would even know that it’s there?  It’s a tiny device that wouldn’t bother anyone.  But if your baby needed to call home during recess, it would be there.  Not only that, if there was an emergency where you needed to reach your family, you want them instantly accessible and a cell phone makes that possible.

But there are some reasons to think this decision through in a little more depth. If you have not equipped your five year old with a cell phone so far, it will be a toy and something new to figure out if you give it to her and pack her off to school.  Children are fascinated by technology and the odds that your little one will have that cell phone out during the day, playing with it and possibly distracting the other children with it are pretty good.

But even if your child is used to carrying a cell phone, you should check the rules at the school before giving your kindergartener one before sending her off to school.  Many schools have rules about the children bringing any form of electronic device into the classroom.  This is so the teacher doesn’t have to fight a battle with kids who would rather fool with electronic toys than pay attention.  So if that is a rule that is you’re your child’s kindergarten class, you don’t want to create a situation where she could get in trouble.

There is a rule we teach our kids not to take anything into a public place that they would hate to lose.  And a cell phone would be a device that would be very attractive for other kids to want to play with, to “borrow” for an hour for the day or for the week or to out and out steal so they can have their own phone.  And if that happens, your child will be devastated and outraged and it will become a major incident for you, the child and the school to deal with that really never had to happen.

Realistically, no kindergartener needs a cell phone at school.  If your child had one and it was unusual, she would appear to the other children like a spoiled child and possibly be isolated because of jealousy or resentment in the other kids.  There are other ways to help your child get over that sense of separation and isolation from you.  In fact, the one thing you want from this first year at kindergarten is for your child to start the path toward independence.  Giving her a cell phone only slows that process.

So while it is a huge temptation to give your child this simple and inexpensive device, for the most part it is probably a temptation worth resisting.  By having her leave it home, you prevent a lot of problems that could happen.  And you teach your child self reliance.  And that is one of many great lessons you want your kiddo to learn at kindergarten.

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Days like this almost always mark a transition from one phase of life to the next phase.  Graduations from high school or college are celebrated with great joy because they take a young person into the next big step of maturity and responsibility.  The celebration and the spectacle that we build around these big events help the one going through the transition make that jump and start this new exciting phase of life with enthusiasm and the blessing of the ones that love them.

If you have a child who is rapidly approaching the start of kindergarten, in her own little way, that event is just that kind of transition.  This is the end of babyhood and infancy and the beginning of childhood for that little boy or girl.  And the more we make that first day of kindergarten exciting and special and celebrate its coming, the more we help that young student get launched in style and be off and running.

They say that anticipation is 90% of the fun of any big day.  And by planning a big party to launch your child into kindergarten, you replace any sense of dread or fear with that excitement about the fun of that event.  Now, obviously you will plan the celebration for the day or weekend before the actual first day of school.  But position it as close to the first day of school as possible so there is little time for “let down” between the party and that moment when that child actually sets out on her first big day in kindergarten.

Get as many of the child’s loved ones in on the act as you can.  Not only should you plan to bring in her friends and siblings but cousins, aunts and uncles and grandpa and grandma if that’s possible to all congratulate the child in advance on the big adventure she is about to set out upon.  Children universally love a party, especially if it is in their honor so a cake with candles, balloons and presents make the celebration festive for everyone.

Now if you chose to go with presents, they should all center around the event.  Children already have Christmas and their birthdays to get presents so gifts should focus on that first day of school.  Appropriate gifts might be a lunch box, a backpack, a very nice set of crayons and other education related presents.  But by wrapping these things up so there can be a gift opening ceremony, the festive nature of the day is enhanced because children love to open gifts.

It is entirely appropriate also for there to be some somber moments and if you do wish to bring in church people or clergy so add their prayers and blessings to the event, that will be a meaningful moment the child will think about often and for a long time into the future.  Dad, you can give a speech about how proud you are of your baby boy or girl.  But make it short and keep the party fun and moving along so everybody has a great time.

As with all big events, pictures are a great idea.  In fact, in advance of the party, if you start that kindergartner-to-be to work creating a memory book of the event, you can show her how to scrapbook special photos and mementos not only of the party before she heads out to school but of that big day itself.  What a wonderful memory it will be if mom can get a picture of her angel walking into class for the memory book.

Then as the year moves along, special projects, assignments and other keepsakes from that first year of school can go in the memory book and make it special.  All of these special touches will make the first day of school exciting and help that big transition to launch your child into a great first year of her academic life.

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When we think of going into the “preparation mode” as that first day of kindergarten approaches, the two areas we most focus on are the academic and the emotional. If your little one has conquered shapes, colors, counting and basic vocabulary, these are some of the academic skills that she should have as she heads off for that first day of formal school. You may have given her some home school or even preschool exposure to get those skills in place and all of that was good preparation for this big day.

From an emotional and social point of view, the big change from staying home with mom every day to being in an institutionalized setting is one that your child will cope with better with some preparation. So letting her meet the teacher, the other students, sit in on one day with you there and then have time to role play or talk through what it will be like all will be very helpful at reducing that feeling of disorientation that your kiddo may experience the first day at school.

But there are other areas of competency that you would do well to gauge in your child as she prepares for a day without you there to do everything for her. And if you start developing those check lists in the last full year before kindergarten, you have time to help your baby develop those skills well in advance. For example, when your child goes to lunch at school, she will probably go through a line to get her food, find a table on her own to sit with relative strangers to eat and have to get through meal time without guidance or encouragement. You can give her some of those experiences by eating at buffets where you let her handle her own tray and even pick the table and “be a big girl” by making all of the decisions.

The more independent your child becomes in that last few months before kindergarten, the more that feeling of self reliance will pay off when school starts. Being able to dress and undress herself is a basic skill that we work on with our children. And while this will not be necessary at school, there may be times when your child needs to go to the bathroom to adjust his or her wardrobe. And not having to have a teacher there with him will make this a much smoother operation.

The basics of being able to perform simple student tasks such as how to hold a writing implement, how to draw the basic shapes, how to color a picture and how to answer questions from the teacher without mumbling are things that can be worked on well before the first day at kindergarten that will make that transition much smoother for your child and for the teacher as well.

There are also mental or intellectual talents that your child can pick up just from being part of your family but they will be of great advantage in school. This includes being able to listen and understand a story and then ask intelligent questions about it, being able to understand humor and even make simple and appropriate jokes when the time is right in class and knowing the fundamentals of alphabet, numbers and vocabulary that will equip the child to start the curriculum at kindergarten without need for remedial help.

Observe and help your child develop the simple social skills of being able to enter a room and meet new people, understanding authority and rules and learning to live with them and making friends and identifying and avoiding problem personalities in class. These are skills that will go a long way toward facilitating a happy social life at school and learning to stay out of trouble which is a lifetime skill your kiddo will need throughout a long school career.

By thinking through not only the academic but the physical, hygiene, social, language and logical skills that are sometimes taken for granted, you cut down on the surprises that wait for your child on that first day at school. And the smoother that first day goes, the better her entire year at kindergarten will go which will lead to a happy and creative attitude toward school and education for life.